Youth Voice Matters.

Every day, the saying that goes, "new day, new life, new chance to survive," reminds me that we have unlimited opportunities to grab as we wake up. But is tomorrow a chance to makeup or a chance to never come back at all?

 

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A loud thud stroke my chest from sleep as the thought of the quiz I had to take at 7 AM crossed my consciousness. The sun has already risen, and it is 7:45 in the morning. And just like that, I missed it when mom came in to wake me up to do the household chores, like a computer programmed to do it.

 

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I am a medical student who challenged my fate and aspired to be a medical doctor one day. I am a weakling and a coward chick who had the gut to take up a medical laboratory science program. It was challenging and fun not until the pandemic turned everything upside down. A study revealed that the pandemic had triggered the universities worldwide to shut down, which led to the massive social isolation of staff and students. As a consequence, I have been glued to my monitor and mouse for almost two years now. The adjustment I had to make was never a piece of cake, considering how I had to chunk myself for numerous things. The fact that the future needs a laboratory professional like I wanted to be has been dramatically affected. I was one of the 74.7% who agreed that the pandemic had disrupted the education and clinical training we could have attended. It left me alone with the piles of books and reviewers that looked overwhelming by just the sight of them. The comfort I could have felt with my small circle of friends when failing significant exams and quizzes was stolen, knowing how emotionally weak I was. The rush I had to do with my activities paved the way to copy-paste online. Control C, Control V, every day seemed the same days to me.

 

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I wished to come back like the majority of the students who wanted to return to school and clinical rotations and were willing to accept the COVID-19 risks, according to 2021 research. But it is almost impossible to reduce the records we have. The confinement I endured in the so-called home forced the anxiety in me, and I belong to the 75% who developed anxiety due to the current setup. Every day I had to beg and bargain with the neighbours to cooperate at a particular time of the day only to fail the major exams because they did not hear me out. I needed to attend to my sibling's school concerns because I was the firstborn. I had to stay up till dawn, for I was never a fast learner, and many things needed catching up and wake up early to clean and cook for the family. I had to hear my parents quarrel and how they dared to talk about splitting up. I had to contain all the pressure and responsibilities simultaneously, and the only thing that had ever listened to me was my computer.

 

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Take me to the pre-pandemic era where everything was in its right places, where my only goal was to survive the semester and not the yells that woke me up in the morning. Bring back every recitation I have missed due to poor internet connectivity, where my competence was slowly growing and delivered learning was practical. Take me back to the years where the only exhaustion I could feel was from academic matters and not from everything surrounding me. If I could only bring them back.

 

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My mind betrayed me. The nights I stopped myself from hurting this body; the days I tried to lock myself up in a room; it felt like yesterday, and I remembered them clearly. Every day, I studied hard to help sick people, but I did not seem to help the sickness in me. Control A, I cannot control X, do not cut the string of my patience left. I once dreamed of being a doctor, but the moment I pressed that shortcut key, I ended up being the patient.